Who Are You When the Fire Comes?

Who Are You When the Fire Comes?

By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar

True character isn’t built in comfort it’s exposed in hardship. It’s easy to be kind and gracious when life is going your way, but what happens when it all falls apart? When you’re backed into a corner, drained, with nothing left to give who are you then?

I’ve come to understand that adversity isn’t some cruel trick life plays on us. It’s a mirror. It strips away the fluff, the false bravado, the polished masks we show to the world. The decisions we make when the pressure is on reveal exactly who we are. It’s like a storm washing away the dirt, exposing the foundation beneath. And sometimes, that foundation isn’t as solid as we thought.

My grandmother, Celestine, understood that truth better than anyone. She used to tell me, “Boy, you don’t know what’s in a teabag until you put it in hot water.” And let me tell you life has a way of dunking you into boiling water when you least expect it. She was the toughest, wisest woman I’ve ever known, and no book could teach what she carried in her bones. I watched her face hardship with strength, grace, and an unwavering faith. She taught me that when the world pushes against you, that’s your moment to push back not with anger, but with resilience.

I, Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar, have been through the fire, too. Life has hit me, chewed me up, and left me raw. I’ve stumbled. I’ve fallen. I’ve bled. But here’s the thing I always get back up. And when I do, my heart stays warm, my hands stay open, and I refuse to let the world turn me cold. That’s what I want for you, too.

Adversity shows you who you are. Some discover a strength they never knew existed. Others let the struggle harden them, turning bitter, resentful. The choice is always yours. Do you still show kindness when it’s inconvenient? Do you still give when you have nothing left? Do you still hold faith when doubt is screaming in your ear? When life knocks you down, do you lift others up?

Now, I’d love to say I’ve always handled hardship with grace, but I’d be lying. I’ve had my moments. Like the time I tried to fix a leaky sink and somehow flooded the entire kitchen. Soaked and frustrated, I stood there convinced the sink had a personal vendetta against me. My grandmother walked in, took one look at the mess, and just shook her head. “Boy, you fighting a battle you wasn’t prepared for,” she chuckled. And isn’t that life? Half the time, we’re wrestling with challenges we never even saw coming.

But here’s the truth: struggle refines you. Every setback is a lesson. Every failure, a stepping stone. Adversity isn’t your enemy it’s your training ground. You don’t build strength by lifting feathers. You don’t gain wisdom by avoiding hardship. Fire doesn’t destroy you it burns away everything you’re not.

So, I ask you: Who are you when the fire comes? When the storms rage, when the walls close in what’s at your core? Are you still compassionate? Still merciful? Still humble? The real you isn’t the one that shows up when life is easy it’s the one that rises in the middle of the storm.

And let me remind you of one thing: No matter what you’re facing, you are more than your struggles. You are not defined by your failures. You are strong. You are mighty. And most importantly, you are still here.

Just like me.

And in the words of my grandmother: “Baby, if you’re still breathing, you still got fight left in you.”

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Author’s Note:

This abstract piece captures the raw essence of adversity and self-discovery. The figure, engulfed in swirling flames, represents the human spirit tested by life’s trials. The contrast between fire and the deep blue shadows symbolizes the push and pull between struggle and resilience. The question, “Who are you when the fire comes?” is a challenge one that asks us to examine our true selves in moments of hardship. Like my grandmother’s wisdom, this image serves as a visual reminder that struggle does not define us; rather, it reveals who we truly are.