When the Years Start to Show, Who’s Still Standing With You?

When the Years Start to Show, Who’s Still Standing With You?

By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar

You know, there’s this quiet shift that sneaks up on you with age. One day, you’re chasing dreams, moving fast, trying to keep up with it all and then, without warning, life slows the tempo. The noise fades. And what used to feel so important? It doesn’t hit the same anymore.

That’s when you start craving something deeper. Not success, not spotlight, not status but soul-level stuff. You start asking: Who's really there for me? Who can I lean on when I’m not okay?

I remember this one evening sitting outside with Walter an old soul, the kind who’s lived through enough to talk slow and mean every word. He looked at me and asked, “Kateb, when life flips you upside down, when your strength slips out from under you… besides the Almighty, who’s got your back?”

That wasn’t just small talk. That was a loaded question. One that reached deep and stirred something in me.

Then he said, “As you get older, the two most priceless things you can have are God and someone who’s there when it counts. No questions asked. Someone who shows up. Someone who’ll pray with you, sit in the quiet with you, and hold space for you even when you don’t have the words.”

Man… those words cut straight to the soul. Because I’ve lived long enough to know exactly what he meant.

Life has this funny way of revealing who’s real and who’s just around for the good times. And the truth? You don’t need a crowd. You need connection. Real, spiritual, heart-centered connection.

But here's where we mess up: we keep pushing away the folks who genuinely care. The ones who show us kindness when we’re hard to love. We run toward charm, charisma, and noise and forget to honor the quiet, steady presence of those who actually see us.

We’ve got to stop doing that. We’ve got to start choosing people with real depth people whose hearts are tied to something higher. Folks who walk close with the Creator. People whose lives speak louder than their mouths ever could.

My grandmother God rest her soul didn’t mince words when it came to wisdom. She once told me, “Kateb, there are two kinds of people in this world wise folks and fools. Stick close to the wise. They’ll lift you up. Fools? Stay away from 'em. Don’t entertain them, don’t follow them. They’ll lead you somewhere your spirit can’t come back from.”

And let me tell you something I’ve seen both types. I’ve dined with wisdom and danced with foolishness. And I promise you, only one will help you sleep in peace at night.

Wise people don’t just pray for you they pray with you. They’ll hold you accountable without shaming you. They show up when the lights are off, and they remind you who you are when you forget.

Fools? They flatter. They drain. They disappear when the waters get rough. And if you let them, they’ll have you walking in circles wondering why nothing in your life makes sense anymore.

So ask yourself who’s in your circle? Who’s speaking into your life? Who has permission to pull you back from the edge?

We’ve glamorized independence so much that we forgot we were never built to walk this path alone. Even in our strongest moments, we still need softness. Even the toughest of us need to be held, to be understood, to be seen without the mask.

I’ve been in rooms full of people and still felt like a ghost. I’ve had applause ringing in my ears and a hollowness echoing in my chest. That’s how I learned: presence isn’t the same as closeness. Not everyone around you is with you.

That’s why what Walter said hit me so hard. Because I’ve lived long enough to know that one sincere person one soul who really gets you can be worth more than a thousand acquaintances.

It’s not about having people who know your name it’s about having people who know your pain.

And look, I’m not just talking about friends. I’m talking about spiritual family. That one cousin who checks in at 2 AM because they felt something in their spirit. That neighbor who prays over you like you share the same blood. That elder who hugs you like your mama used to.

These are the folks who become extensions of divine love. They’re not just people they’re provisions. Sent to remind you that God doesn’t just show up in thunder and miracles. Sometimes, He comes through a text that says, “You good?” Or a ride when your car broke down. Or someone whispering your name in prayer when you’re too tired to whisper it yourself.

So again who’s got your back? And just as important… whose back do you have?

Because as we grow older, the makeup fades, the titles mean less, and the followers stop mattering. What we’re left with is connection. Faith. People who know your story and still choose to stay.

And if you’re blessed enough to have even one person like that hold on tight. Be that person for someone else. And above all else, stay close to the One who never leaves, never changes, and always listens even when all you can do is cry.