The True Success of Real Friendship
By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
Success is a word we’ve overused and, honestly, misunderstood. Most people tie it to shiny things money in the bank, titles on a business card, or applause from strangers who don’t really know you. But if you’ve been around long enough, you realize the greatest success doesn’t always glitter. Sometimes, it sits quietly in the friendships you build those rare relationships that challenge you, lift you, and remind you of who you’re meant to be.
Real friendships aren’t defined by endless brunch dates or late-night texts that say “You up?” They aren’t about empty affirmations or constant agreement. A true friend isn’t someone who nods along when your pride gets out of hand or cheers when your ego (the one edging God out) is steering the ship. I learned this lesson the hard way many of the people I once called “friends” weren’t companions to my growth. They were passengers I should’ve dropped off a long time ago.
You know what real friendship looks like? It’s someone who’ll stop you dead in your tracks and say, “You’re better than this.” It’s someone who can see you drowning in your own stubbornness or pain and throw you a lifeline instead of cheering from the shore. These friends don’t play nice with your excuses or let you stay stuck just because it’s easier. Instead, they push you, they stretch you, and when necessary they lovingly call you out.
Friendships like that are hard to find because they’re not transactional. They don’t revolve around what you can give or get. They don’t ask for perfection or demand constant attention. In fact, a true friend doesn’t have to check in every day for you to feel their presence. You can go months without talking, and when you reconnect, it feels like no time has passed. They don’t hold grudges for silence because they know friendship isn’t measured by texts sent but by love shared.
I remember a time when I was at my lowest confused, overwhelmed, and honestly not the best version of myself. I had a friend who sat me down, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Look, I know you’re hurting, but you’re letting the hurt win. And that’s not you.” It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it was exactly what I needed. That’s the thing about true friends they care more about your growth than your comfort.
Friendship like this doesn’t put a wedge between you and your Creator; it brings you closer. It pulls you out of those dark places where pride festers and whispers lies. It challenges you to be more patient, more understanding, and more aligned with truth. A friend worth keeping will never encourage you to edge God out or fuel habits that break you down. If anything, they’ll remind you to pick yourself up, dust off the dirt, and try again with faith, with hope, and with a little more humility.
But let’s be honest, most of us have learned the hard way that not everyone we call “friend” deserves the title. Some people are anchors disguised as allies. They weigh us down, feeding our bad habits or applauding our mistakes because it’s easier than telling us the truth. And we hold onto them because we’re afraid of the silence that comes with letting go. I’ve been there, clinging to friendships that were quietly draining my soul. Letting go wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
You see, meaningful friendships don’t just “happen.” They take honesty, accountability, and a willingness to grow together. They’re not about flattering each other’s egos or avoiding hard conversations. They’re about walking side by side, even when the road is rough, even when the truth stings, even when life gets so messy that all you can do is sit together in the chaos.
Real friends are the ones who remind you to hold on to your faith, to your dreams, and to the person you’re striving to become. They don’t vanish when the going gets tough. They show up sometimes with advice, sometimes with silence, but always with love. And if you’re lucky, they’ll make you laugh when you need it most because even the deepest pain can lighten with a little humor.
I’ve come to believe that friendships are the quiet success stories of life. They’re not loud, flashy, or easy to brag about. You won’t find them trending online or wrapped in Instagram-perfect moments. But they’re there, steady and strong, holding you up when everything else falls apart.
So, if you’re chasing success, don’t overlook the friendships that shape you. Surround yourself with people who speak truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Choose friends who pull you closer to the Creator and remind you of your worth when you forget it yourself. These friendships aren’t just a part of life; they are life. They’re the wealth you’ll carry with you long after everything else fades.
And let me tell you there’s no success greater than that.
Author's Note
By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
Friendship has taught me lessons I never expected. It’s not about who we know or how many people we can call "friend." It’s about the ones who truly see us the ones who, without hesitation, show up when life feels too heavy or too bright. They’re the ones who help us find our footing when we’re stumbling and challenge us to grow when we’re too comfortable.
I’ve learned the hard way that not every person we call a friend is truly someone who serves our growth. Sometimes, the people we hold close are the ones who subtly push us away from our higher selves. Real friendship isn’t about agreeing with each other’s egos, nor is it about always having the same opinion. It’s about challenging one another to be better to stay true to our values and to the Creator.
There was a time when I was blind to this, caught up in what I thought friendship was supposed to look like: brunches, texts, the social exchanges that give a sense of belonging. But real connection is deeper. It’s a bond that nurtures the spirit, one that doesn’t fade with time or distance. It’s about sitting with someone and knowing, without words, that they have your best interest at heart.
In my own journey, I’ve found that some of my closest friendships have been the ones where we’ve spoken the hardest truths to one another, even when it was uncomfortable. These are the friendships that have helped me see beyond myself, that have taught me what it means to truly walk in compassion, to live in patience, and to trust in the Creator’s plan.
This reflection is a gift to those of you who have ever felt uncertain about what true friendship means or who might be questioning the people you call your friends. It’s a reminder that success isn’t found in numbers or titles but in the people who uplift and guide you toward truth.
So, may this be a gentle reminder to you, as it has been to me: True success is not about the external things that may come and go. It’s about the friendships that sustain us, the ones that show up when life feels empty, and the ones that direct us to become the best versions of ourselves.
With deep affection,
Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
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