The Silent Struggles of Men and the Sacredness of Peace
By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
We often talk about love as something that fills us up, a well of comfort, a place of belonging. But sometimes, love isn’t that soft place to fall it becomes something that quietly drains us. And in a surprising twist, it’s not always men who play the role of the heartbreaker. Sometimes, it’s the ones we call our “better half” who can leave us feeling anything but whole. It’s a truth that doesn’t get told enough: men hurt too, and sometimes it’s at the hands of those they love most.
Men with the biggest hearts often seem to attract people who don’t just take advantage they drain. They ask for everything and then turn away when it’s time to give. The kind of person who takes and takes, leaving a man wondering where he went wrong, trying to brush off the hurt because he’s been told, time and again, to just "man up." But deep down, we all know that’s just armor, a cover for wounds that cut to the core.
There’s something sacred in a man’s heart. The heart of a man who loves truly and deeply is like a sanctuary a place of strength, yes, but also a place of vulnerability and tenderness. Yet, when that heart is met with manipulation, belittling, and neglect, the soul within it begins to shrink, almost as if it’s fading under the weight of pain it’s not meant to carry. And here’s a spiritual truth: we are not created to endure love that feels like punishment, love that takes more than it gives.
In the quiet spaces, men carry hurt from words and actions that get swept under the rug. They carry the weight of silence when their partners turn a cold shoulder, withholding love and affection as if it’s a prize to be won rather than a gift to be shared. They endure criticism that cuts at their character, “honest” words that feel more like daggers, and an endless cycle of manipulation that leaves them doubting themselves and their own worth.
A relationship is meant to be a sacred union a meeting of souls who choose to walk life together in peace, compassion, and understanding. But when one partner uses love like a weapon, that union becomes a prison, one where trust and joy are locked away behind the bars of gaslighting, intimidation, and disregard. Intimate partner violence is not just something that affects women. When women use these hurtful tactics on men, it’s no less of a betrayal to the soul, a violation of the sanctity that love is supposed to represent.
In some relationships, men find themselves sidelining their own happiness just to keep the peace, to be “the good guy,” the rock, the one who won’t give up. And yet, there are times when they look over and realize that the person they’re sacrificing for would put them aside for a moment of fleeting happiness without a second thought. It’s a difficult truth, but one that is crucial to understand if we’re to seek genuine peace in our lives and relationships.
Even the strongest man, with all his strength and resilience, needs love that feels like love warm, real, and nurturing. He deserves to feel seen and appreciated, not judged or manipulated. When affection is withheld or intimacy is used as a weapon, the damage goes far beyond the surface. It erodes the very foundation of connection and leaves a man feeling alone, even in the presence of the one he thought was his partner.
There’s a beautiful line in spiritual wisdom that says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and this includes our closest partners. Love is meant to uplift, to nurture, to create a space where both souls can thrive in their own beauty and strength. We are each responsible for protecting that love, for recognizing when it’s becoming something that wounds rather than heals.
And here’s where the spiritual element truly comes in when a man feels trapped in this cycle, he has to turn inward and seek peace from a higher source. He has to find within himself the courage to acknowledge that he deserves better, that his spirit is worthy of joy, respect, and gentleness. In a world that often asks him to keep his struggles quiet, finding the strength to speak up, to set boundaries, and to reclaim his peace is a deeply spiritual act.
Seek assistance through patience and prayer. In moments when it feels impossible to move forward, trust that patience can restore clarity. Patience allows us to look past our own immediate pain and sense the guidance and healing waiting for us. Prayer, meanwhile, becomes the bridge to the Creator’s wisdom a reminder that we are not alone in our struggle and that peace is within reach when we call upon a higher strength.
For every man who’s found himself feeling diminished, unseen, or taken for granted, know this: the Creator has placed within you a strength that is beyond words. You are a being of immense worth, a soul deserving of love that reflects the beauty you offer to the world. Just because society may not always recognize the quiet pain you carry doesn’t mean it isn’t real. And just because you’ve been told to “deal with it” doesn’t mean you have to settle for anything less than a love that honors the sacredness of your heart.
In the end, love is not supposed to be a battlefield; it’s a place of peace. A relationship should be a refuge, a place where both souls can rest and renew. If you’re in a relationship that takes more than it gives, remember that the divine has not created you to be a vessel of unending sacrifice. Your heart is too precious to be drained by someone who doesn’t see its worth.
Take this moment to pause, breathe, and let yourself feel the peace that comes from knowing you are deserving. There is a spiritual truth that when we honor ourselves, we open the door for love that mirrors that same reverence. Find your center, trust in the divine strength within you, and know that in choosing peace, you are honoring the Creator who made you whole.
So here’s to you the quiet strength, the unspoken pain, the love that never quits. May you walk with your head held high, knowing you are worthy of love that heals, strengthens, and brings you the peace your spirit longs for.
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