Reflection on Love and Self

Reflection on Love and Self

by Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar

There's an often-overlooked truth in our quest for love: you cannot genuinely love someone else, not even the Creator, if you haven't first embraced love for yourself. This isn’t about being self-centered; it’s about recognizing your own worth. How can you offer love to others when you're running on empty? The love you give to those around you is a reflection of the care, compassion, and respect you hold for yourself. A heart that hasn't discovered self-love can only offer a fragile, diluted version of what love is meant to be. And in today’s world, it’s tragically common to encounter this hollow imitation.

When you encounter real, authentic love, you immediately recognize its rarity. In these modern times, love in its purest form feels like it’s slipping away, on the verge of extinction. We see it every day people giving love, but only when it's convenient or easy. It's love in name only. This shallow version that most people exchange is like a cheaply made product. It crumbles under the slightest strain, like a fabric that fades after one wash, losing its vibrant color. It’s fragile, brittle, full of holes a garment of love with a low thread count, worn and weak.

But true love? That’s something different altogether. True love costs nothing, and no amount of darkness can diminish its light. Its flame does not flicker, even in the harshest storms, for real love endures. On the other hand, conditional love the kind that’s given with strings attached or offered only when things are easy has a short lifespan. It burns out with the slightest gust of wind, leaving behind only ashes. It’s temporary, fragile, and cannot stand the test of time. Real love, though, is unwavering, steadfast, and holds its power no matter the circumstances.

Real love, the kind that holds firm through life’s storms, is as rare and extraordinary as a Kashmir sapphire vibrant, durable, and priceless. It doesn’t unravel when tested by life’s pressures. Instead, it holds its beauty and strength, even when everything else around it is falling apart. When you’re fortunate enough to encounter this kind of love, you recognize it instantly. You realize that such love doesn’t come often, and when it does, it is something to be cherished and protected.

The love you offer to others is shaped by the love you cultivate within yourself. If you don’t first nurture a deep sense of self-worth, how can you expect to share a love that’s whole, strong, and true? Without a foundation of self-love, the love you extend to others will always fall short. It’ll be fragile, incomplete, unable to withstand the trials of life.

This applies not only to our human relationships but also to our relationship with the Creator. It’s impossible to fully embrace the Creator’s love if you don’t first believe you are deserving of love yourself. Your ability to love the Divine reflects how you view yourself. When you start to see your own worth, you begin to understand just how deeply the Creator loves you without condition, without end. You realize that you, too, deserve kindness, grace, and compassion. And as you accept this truth, you naturally begin to offer that same love to the world around you.

The universe itself is woven together with love. If you take the time to look closely, you’ll find it in every interaction, every connection, and in the smallest moments of grace. Love is the force that holds everything together. Just as gravity keeps the stars in place, love keeps the fabric of the universe intact. But here’s the thing: not all love is created equal. The kind of love that truly sustains and heals is becoming harder and harder to find.

In today’s world, love is often treated like a transaction. People give love when it’s easy, when it suits them, or when they stand to gain something in return. But that’s not real love. Real love is unconditional. It stands firm when life gets tough. It doesn’t waver in the face of adversity. It’s not transactional, nor is it temporary. This kind of love is rare, but it’s the only kind that truly matters.

If you’re lucky enough to encounter this kind of love—whether from another person, within yourself, or in your relationship with the Creator—don’t take it for granted. Hold onto it tightly. Just as you would protect a priceless gem, you must nurture and care for love that’s real. It’s invaluable, and if lost, you may never find it again.

Yet, to truly recognize this love, you must first love yourself. You must believe that you are worthy of such a treasure. The depth of love you give others will always reflect the depth of love you hold for yourself. If you neglect your own heart, how can you offer love that’s whole? Without self-love, every act of love you give will be fragile and incomplete.

And this brings us back to the relationship we have with the Divine. You cannot fully love the Creator if you don’t first understand your own worth. You cannot grasp the depth of the Creator’s love if you don’t see that you are deserving of it. The love of the Divine is infinite, but to experience it fully, you must open yourself to the idea that you are enough. That you are worthy. Only then can you reflect that love back to the world.

The universe, in its infinite wisdom, doesn’t measure love by the size of grand gestures or the intensity of fleeting emotions. It measures love by its depth, consistency, and endurance. The love that survives, that grows stronger with time, is the only love that truly matters. If you are blessed enough to find this rare love—whether in another person or in your own heart cherish it. Hold onto it with both hands, and never let it go.

So, love yourself fully, deeply, and without hesitation. For in doing so, you unlock the key to true, lasting love the kind of love that stands the test of time. And when you find it, whether in yourself, in another, or in the Creator’s grace, hold it tight. Never take it for granted. Real love is rare, and once found, it becomes the greatest treasure you will ever know.