The Wisdom in Walking Away
By Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar
Avoiding fights and negative interactions is not a sign of weakness or fear; it is a mark of honor. A wise person understands that engaging in arguments is often futile and counterproductive. Disagreements are a natural part of human relationships, but how we handle them reveals our maturity. If we lack the maturity to remain silent and listen with the intent to understand, rather than to reply, we increase the likelihood of conflict.
Choosing not to argue demonstrates wisdom. It involves defusing potential conflicts before they escalate. Proverbs teaches us that those who insist on quarreling are foolish, as arguments drain our mental and emotional energy, robbing us of our inner peace and dragging us down to a lower level. Engaging in arguments with those who are determined to quarrel is a waste of time and effort, as they will ignore wise words and continue on their destructive path.
There is a profound wisdom in choosing to walk away from unnecessary conflicts. This wisdom is exemplified in the story of Kumba, a village elder in Sierra Leone a thousand years ago. Kumba was known for his calm demeanor and ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. One day, two young men came to him with a dispute over a piece of land. Each claimed ownership and was ready to fight to defend their claim.
Kumba listened patiently to both sides, not interrupting or taking sides. After hearing their arguments, he asked them to follow him to the disputed land. There, he pointed to a large tree that had stood for generations. "This tree has witnessed many conflicts," Kumba said. "It has seen warriors come and go, but it remains standing because it does not engage in the conflicts around it. It stands firm, providing shade and shelter to all who come under its branches."
He continued, "Like this tree, we must learn to stand firm in our principles and provide shelter to those in need, without engaging in unnecessary conflicts. Fighting over this land will only bring harm to both of you and to the village. Instead, let us find a solution that benefits everyone."
Kumba's words resonated with the young men. They realized the futility of their argument and agreed to share the land, working together to benefit the entire community. This story from Sierra Leone illustrates the wisdom of avoiding unnecessary conflicts and finding peaceful solutions.
Avoiding arguments requires strength and self-control. It means recognizing that not every disagreement needs to be a battle. It means understanding that sometimes, the best response is no response at all. Disrespect, disregard, and anger are choices, and choosing not to engage with them is a sign of wisdom and maturity.
When we choose to avoid arguments, we are not giving up or showing weakness. Instead, we are demonstrating our ability to rise above petty conflicts and maintain our inner peace. This choice reflects a deep understanding of the destructive nature of arguments and the wisdom of preserving our energy for more meaningful endeavors.
In relationships, disagreements are inevitable. However, whether or not we yell and cuss at each other is a choice. Disrespect and disregard are choices. The way we approach disagreements speaks to our level of maturity. If we are not mature enough to be silent, to allow the other person to speak their side, and to listen not to respond but to understand, we increase the possibility of contention.
Listening to understand, even if we disagree, is a mark of wisdom. It means we are trying to defuse potential conflicts before they escalate. Arguing is a wasteful mental and emotional venture. It drains our inner peace and drags us down to a lower level. Proverbs teaches us not to speak to fools, as they will only ignore our wise words.
Choosing to avoid arguments is a wise decision. It involves recognizing the futility of engaging with those who are determined to quarrel and choosing to preserve our peace and energy. This wisdom is reflected in the actions of wise individuals throughout history, like Kumba, who understood the importance of avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
In the end, the wisdom of walking away from arguments lies in recognizing that our inner peace is more valuable than winning a pointless dispute. It means understanding that we do not need to engage in every conflict that comes our way. Instead, we can choose to rise above, maintain our peace, and focus on more meaningful pursuits. This choice reflects a deep understanding of the destructive nature of arguments and the wisdom of preserving our energy for more important matters.
The purpose of this reflection is to highlight and help us understand the importance of avoiding unnecessary conflicts and choosing to maintain inner peace. By following the example of wise individuals like Kumba, we can learn to avoid arguments and focus on more meaningful and constructive endeavors.
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