The Weight of Complaints and the Freedom of Gratitude

The Weight of Complaints and the Freedom of Gratitude

Written by Kateb Nuri-Alim Shunnar

Date: April 4, 2025

Bitterness is a heavy chain to carry. It locks you down and makes every step in life feel like wading through knee-deep mud. Love, on the other hand, sets you free. And let me tell you, the worst thing in life ain't dying it’s living every single day with a heart full of bitterness. That’s a slow death, a quiet prison where you’re both the guard and the prisoner. Hurt, if left unchecked, turns into bitterness, and bitterness fuels anger. If you go too far down that road, you lose yourself entirely.

I can still hear my grandmother’s voice in my head. She had this way of getting straight to the point no sugarcoating, no fluff. She had the biggest smile, flashing those open-face gold teeth on the side like she was royalty straight out of New Orleans. "Boy, you betta quit all that fussin’ before you mess round and talk yourself into an early grave!" she’d tell me, rocking back in her chair, shaking her head. "You thank fussin’ gon’ change sump’n? Fussin’ ain’t never paid a bill or put no food on nobody's table! But gratitude? Ohhh, gratitude gon’ have blessings chasin’ you like a stray dog smellin’ fried chicken!"

At the time, I’d roll my eyes. I was young and thought I knew everything. I just wanted to live my life, have fun, and not be lectured about some old gospel song. But she had a way of sneaking wisdom into casual conversations, slipping in life lessons like seasoning in a pot of gumbo so good, you don’t even realize how much it’s feeding you.

"Kateb," she’d say, stretching my name out like she was about to hit me with something heavy, "lemme tell you sump’n. People who spend all their time complainin’ ain't never happy. And ain't nobody wanna be 'round a complainer! Complainin’ suck the joy out a room faster than a hurricane wind!" Then she’d laugh, deep and full, her gold teeth catching the light. "You see, grandson, life ain't neva gon' be perfect. Some days you gon' feel like the whole world got its foot on ya neck. But if you let that make you bitter, if you let that steal yo' sweetness, then you ain't livin’ you just existin’. And baby, we ain't put here just to exist!"

Looking back, I get it now. Complaining is like standing in a storm and fussing at the rain instead of finding shelter. It drains you and weakens you. But gratitude? That’s power. That’s protection.

I see it everywhere now people complaining about every little thing but never taking a second to appreciate what they do have. And let’s be real, some folks enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy not doing anything to change their situation. "I just don’t understand why my life is like this!" they cry while doing the same thing, day after day, expecting something different. My grandmother would’ve looked at them, sucked her teeth, and said, "Chile, you can't plant collard greens and be mad when okra don't grow."

I’ve been guilty of it, too. I won't even lie. There were times I let my situation, my struggles, and my own pride turn me into a low-energy, low-frequency, malnourished spirit. But today, I choose differently. And I want you to choose differently, too. Say your name out loud. "I, ___________, refuse to let life turn me into a complainer. I will not let my hardships steal my joy."

Because here’s the truth complaining convinces people you are not in control of your own life. It closes doors, while gratitude swings them wide open. It keeps you stuck, while appreciation moves you forward. What you focus on, you attract. Keep complaining, and you’ll keep finding more things to complain about. But if you wake up with gratitude, watch how life shifts. Watch how blessings start showing up in places you never expected.

So I leave you with the same words my grandmother left me with, right before she sat back in her chair, humming that old gospel tune:

"I won’t complain."

And neither should you.

---